I am a soul having a human experience. In this complex consciousness I know every relationship and every experience is proposed for the very evolution of my soul. This mesmerizing game of soul Tetris has me yearning to grab every last morsel of knowledge and perspective so I can jump to the next level. With every lesson and blessing I can’t help but feel like Carrie Bradshaw in an episode of Sex and the City, and contemplate things when they go awry.
I couldn’t help but wonder…. when it comes to relationships, what do you do with the gift of baggage past?
I truly believe somewhere in the dreamy haze of my past life I must have been one heck of a gun slinger. I think I was awesome and I am pretty sure my name was Bonnie. Today my holster no longer swings from my tiny hips and the powdered boots aren’t hungover on the floor, yet somewhere deep in my veins surges a need to defend my own potential blood bath by using hard core ammo. I can shoot things dead, faster than the average civilian. I have no desire to know your side, so instead I just shoot straight from the hip and kill it all before I have to feel anymore than I already feel buried in.
We all have baggage. I’m what they call a hip shooter, it’s my baggage. I like to pretend I was a two gun cutie in my past life to which would put a glamorous explanation of the powder residue left on my hands today. But sticking to what I can prove, I know I’m more responsible than that. From childhood I’ve built a lifetime of emotional barriers to avoid the erosion of re-occurring pain. A defense mechanism built for protection. I’m human, it happens. But there comes a time when I can choose to let go of these barriers and invite something greater in. Shooting from the hip in relationships may win me the battles, but it usually costs me the war.
“Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.”
We tend to ask ourselves why sometimes we get handed the same cards over and over. A friend recently told me he keeps dating woman with the same type of baggage and didn’t know why. I couldn’t help but to expand this thought further. Maybe the song is on repeat because of something inside you, not them.
I giggle to think the universe may just be a clown who built us all a demented fun house full of mirrors to play in. We enter as ticket holders eager to experience all it has to offer but when we get confused on where to go next, it’s just easiest to stop and look at things for what they are. The mirage of the perfect person and relationship doesn’t exist. We are human. And often times we are presented with people and places that are actually projecting a mirror. What aggravates you most of others, can sometimes reflect what is unsettled within yourself. In deepest sympathy I must remind you, the universe will continue to give you what you need to grow, over and over until you get it.
Say adios. You either keep heaving around that bag or you let it go. Baggage will come and baggage will go. It’s not about living perfection; it’s about identifying the barriers that no longer serve you or your relationships and being open to the process of letting them go for growth. Be humble and trust that because a barrier is there, it probably means you have tried for something along the way and that’s a pretty good thing.
Do you know what barriers are within you? Baggage isn’t glamorous but love isn’t a chore either. It is all of our responsibility to do the homework on our own barriers and quit worrying about finding someone without some. Instead just find someone worth unpacking it all with. Love is kind and love is patient. Be willing to bear witness to yours and theirs in non-judgment so you can enjoy the rewards of winning the next level of consciousness together. Throw those bags on the table and burn them together as fuel to move forward in growth, not as a sword to use against. That act alone, is love.
luv&light, we are one